Teens and Bullying
Teen mental health
Teens and Bullying
Understanding the impact and finding support
Recognize the impact of bullying and explore responses that address safety, restore support, and take a young person’s concerns seriously.
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Understanding the topic
The impact deserves to be taken seriously
Bullying involves unwanted aggressive behaviour with a power imbalance and repetition or the potential for repetition. It can happen in person or online and may affect safety, belonging, and mental health.
A teen may minimize what is happening because they fear making it worse, losing access to a device, or being seen as unable to cope. Ask about the experience without making disclosure lead automatically to punishment.
Therapy can help with the emotional impact, but it does not replace action to address ongoing harm. The plan may need school, platform, caregiver, or other safeguarding support.
Bullying can involve physical aggression, repeated humiliation, exclusion, threats, or online targeting. It is not simply an ordinary disagreement between equals. A young person may fear that telling an adult will make things worse, cost them friendships, or lead to losing access to the phone through which they also receive support.
For further context, see StopBullying.gov: effects of bullying.
Recognizing the pattern
What you may be noticing
A teen may not initially call an experience bullying. Changes in participation, confidence, or online behaviour can be reasons to ask gently about what has been happening.
- Avoiding places, people, or online spaces that used to feel manageable.
- Changes in confidence, mood, or school participation.
- Feeling unsafe, humiliated, or isolated.
- Worrying that asking for help will make the situation worse.
Do not assume the young person caused the harm or should solve it alone. Understand the situation and involve appropriate adults or services without promising an outcome you cannot control.
A practical way forward
Responding to bullying while protecting the young person’s trust
Emotional support and practical protection need to work together. These areas can help organize a response that includes the teen’s perspective.
Listen and document
Take the account seriously and clarify what happened. Keep useful records without repeatedly making the teen relive the experience.
Plan for safety
Identify trusted adults and practical responses. Address immediate threats rather than placing responsibility on the targeted teen.
Support the impact
Make room for shame, fear, anger, or loss of trust. Help separate another person’s behaviour from the teen’s worth.
Restore participation
Work toward safe connection and valued activities. Review whether the environment has changed, not just whether the teen seems more resilient.
Putting the ideas into practice
Take the impact seriously without deciding the whole story at once
Ask what happened, whether it is repeated, who is involved, and where the teen feels unsafe. Changes in attendance, sleep, mood, friendships, or willingness to use a device can be relevant. A teen may minimize the experience or feel ashamed even though the responsibility for bullying is not theirs.
Avoid starting with advice to ignore it or fight back. First establish immediate safety and what the young person fears will happen if adults intervene. That information can help shape a response that is protective and transparent.
Build a practical response with the right adults
For school-related bullying, identify a responsible school contact and describe specific incidents. Keep an appropriate record of dates, messages, and actions taken. Online reporting and privacy tools may help, but they do not replace attention to threats or ongoing harm.
Include the teen in planning where possible and explain when an adult must act for safety. Do not promise absolute secrecy that cannot be kept. Serious threats, violence, or sexual exploitation require appropriate urgent or specialized support.
Address what the experience has taught them about themselves
Even after the behaviour stops, a teen may expect rejection, blame themselves, or avoid settings that used to feel ordinary. Therapy can help with anxiety, shame, trust, and rebuilding participation. The work should not imply that better coping would have prevented the bullying.
A young person who has bullied others also needs a clear response, accountability, and assessment of what is maintaining the behaviour. Supporting them does not mean minimizing the impact on the person harmed.
Evidence and guidance: StopBullying.gov: responding to bullying.
What this can look like
A teen may say they no longer want to attend an activity they once loved. Rather than treating this as lack of commitment, ask what has changed there. If repeated exclusion or humiliation is involved, the response needs to address the setting as well as help the young person recover confidence.
Keeping the context in view
Getting support should not mean facing it alone
A teen should not be expected to resolve a power imbalance through a perfect comeback. Adults and institutions have responsibilities to respond.
If bullying is linked with self-harm, hopelessness, or suicidal thoughts, seek help promptly. In Canada, call or text 988 for suicide-related support, or 911 for immediate danger.
Sessions & fees
Planning your support
Free 20-minute consultation
Talk about your concerns, ask how therapy works, and explore whether Wayfinder fits your needs. There is no commitment to continue.
Request a free consultation$175 per session
Individual therapy appointments are 50 minutes. We provide receipts; insurance reimbursement depends on your plan and your clinician’s professional designation.
Explore individual therapyClinic availability
The Wayfinder Clinic is accepting new clients for virtual therapy across Ontario. Appointment times and clinician availability vary; contact us to find a suitable fit.
Is bullying just a normal part of growing up?
No. Harm should not be dismissed as a rite of passage.
Should I take away my teen’s phone?
Consider safety without automatically removing their access to support. Discuss the specific online risk and a proportionate response.
Can therapy help after the bullying has stopped?
Yes. The impact on confidence, trust, and participation may continue and deserves attention.
Can bullying still affect a teen after it has stopped?
Yes. Fear, shame, low mood, and expectations of rejection may continue after the immediate situation changes. Persistent distress or avoidance deserves support. Therapy can address the impact while adults continue to check that safety and the response from the school or community are adequate.
Should I tell my teen to confront the person bullying them?
Do not assume confrontation is safe or appropriate. First understand the situation, power imbalance, and risks. A plan may involve trusted adults, school procedures, reporting, and practical protection. The young person should not be left solely responsible for stopping the behaviour.
What if the bullying happens online outside school?
Online harm can still affect school, sleep, and relationships. Consider appropriate evidence preservation, platform reporting, privacy settings, and support from responsible adults. Serious threats or exploitation need a more urgent response. Therapy can help with the impact while those practical steps are addressed.
How to start
Make the call
Request a free 20-minute consultation.
Make the connection
Match with the therapist that fits best.
Make the change
Build practical skills and work toward lasting change.
Take the first step
You don’t need to have everything figured out.
Tell us what you are looking for. Your free consultation is a chance to ask questions and consider a practical next step.
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